As Malaysian Indian Facebook users, I am sure you have heard/seen pages featuring Malaysian Indian girls who are scantily clad or otherwise in Facebook pages named Malaysian Indian Beautiful/Sexy/Vandi girls, etc. I have been combating the admins of such pages and they claim that they are educating Malaysian Indian girls on how to dress properly and not to dress and pose like sluts when all they are doing is cyber sexual harassment. I underwent profanity in order to knock some sense into the self proclaimed holier than thou, moral policing admins.
These pages receive mass reports and the Facebook team would remove such pages (thank you Zuck for hearing us out sometimes) but like Phoenix rising from the ashes, these pages spring back relentlessly despite outcry from Facebook users. This phenomenon even made headlines in our online local news portal which denotes the severity of this problem.
Malaysian Indian girls, Facebook is not a safe haven FYI
It confounded me on how on earth do the admins of such pages get the pics of the girls to feature in their sick pages and now I am IN THE KNOW and the fault is not only in the way girls dress and post their pictures. It’s how they behave on Facebook.
Girls generally love attention on Facebook. I mean, likes and flattering comments from guys and girls alike are indeed morale boosting but one should know how to distinguish who’s genuine and who has something up their sleeve. Facebook is a dangerous place, especially for girls. Of course, having hundreds of likes on your statuses and profile pics, comments such as ‘Wow, very beautiful’, ‘Super ah iruke chellam’, ‘Alago alagu larh ninggeh’, having thousands of followers and friends give you the feel of having celebrity status but with fame comes great risk and this is where the aforementioned girls become mega sotheppel on Facebook.
Accepting every Facebook friend requests from guys without taking stock of their background and checking whether they are fake or not is volatile. To illustrate how is this precarious, let’s look at the mannerisms of Indian guys and girls on Facebook: (I don’t mean all guys and girls)
Girls generally don't Facebook private chat much - they don't initiate chats either. They are more inclined to be active on Facebook timeline, posting pictures and statuses and liking and commenting. Guys are the exact opposite - they love to private chat with girls. They also check random girls' pictures, add them then private chat and after some time, ask for phone number.
Okay, girls accept random Facebook friend requests from guys and the guys would then post on the girls’ timelines saying, “Thankz pow da accept. Don’t sombong ye, keep in sentuh always.” Of course there are variations in sentence structure. I just gave a general one that I saw on my 13 year old niece’s Facebook profile to which she replied “Ain’t mention,” whatever the phrase means. I checked the guy’s profile and saw that he is much, much older than my niece.
On what the guys mean by saying “Don’t sombong ye, keep in touch always,” is being in contact in Facebook private message, true to the Facebook ethos of some Indian guys. If the girl doesn’t respond approvingly to the guys’ Facebook messages, reject them outright, or don’t bother to reply to them, such guys will take it personally and it would fester into personal hatred. The vengeful guys would save your most explicit photos and then pass it to the admins of such pages and VOILA, you’re famous for all the wrong reasons. Random guys would comment nastily on your pictures and go on to ask your Facebook profile/contact and mobile phone number.
This is a form of male entitlement which I too have experienced albeit outside Facebook. Whenever guys whistle at me or try to pick me up with lousy chat up lines and I ignore, they turn hostile. Women’s lives are hard. If we respond to guys trying to pick us up, we’ll be labelled easy or cheap or even more demeaning brands. If we don’t, we’ll be labelled thimuru pudicheve, padiche timuru, etc.. Severe forms of male entitlement involve the splashing of acid on girls who reject a guy’s proposal. A similar case happened in Malaysia not too long ago. A girl was bludgeoned then doused with flammable liquid and set on fire by a guy who developed a covetous eye on her because she got engaged to another man. The tragic thing is, the girl didn’t even know that her attacker has a fancy on her because he didn’t tell her. In what way the girl is guilty, I am not able to make out. Perhaps she’s guilty for not having selective telepathy or ESP. This type of occurrences was made a plot in the movie Vazhakku Enn 18/9.
To girls with boyfriends and having Facebook accounts, NEVER give your boyfriends nude pictures of yours or pictures of you in your undergarments at any time in your relationship. If he pesters you for immodest pictures of yours, dump him. He’s bad news – trust me. If you give him such photos of yours to him, he’d threaten to publicize it if you leave him or worse, ask for sexual favours in return for him not to circulate your pics in porn sites or the said Facebook pages. While there are many virtuous guys out there, there are vengeful, inconsiderate and salacious ones who won’t think twice to screw you in all directions, provided you being so gullible. There are cases where the admins of the said Facebook pages asking for sexual favours from girls whose pictures are featured in order to remove their pics from the pages at their implore.
Just to add another point, I came across Youtube videos from India where guys take videos of them making out with their girlfriend and the videos have 100,000 ++ hits. The comments on the video literally made my blood boil. I am unsure whether the girls were aware that they were being filmed but it seemed to me that they were not. The faces of the girls are clearly visible while the faces of the guys are quite concealed. Our culturalism is a torn one, between orthodox Indian perceptions and current Western mannerisms and those two collide in the topic I’m addressing here. The lives of the girls in the videos are done for (Indian conservative establishment) if the guy that smooched (Western conduct) them leave them now that more than 100,000 people (international scale) have seen the faces of the girls and able to identify them. They’ll brand the girls as ‘matter’ like in the movie Thuppaki. One more thing I noticed is that the girls are very reluctant and unresponsive to the guys’ advances; they weren’t Sunny Leone material and they pushed the guys away from them.. I have no idea on what happened to the girls.. I hope they didn’t make any hasty, wrong decisions with all my heart. As for the guys who filmed such intimacy supposedly kept in closed doors and then upload it on Youtube for all and sundry to see either in revenge or with morbid and purposeful intentions, I am going to ask a very corny Indian question, “Akka tanggachi kudeh porekeleh?” I did not embed the video here and neither the one that warns girls not to fall into this trap set up by their boyfriends simply because I DON’T WANT TO PROMOTE THEM.
With all said, here’s how to avoid from becoming a victim on Facebook:
- Refrain from or minimize adding/accepting Facebook friend requests from strangers and people you don’t know. If you insist on adding/accepting friend requests from such people, in an unbridled fashion, check their profile and message them before adding/accepting.
- Set appropriate Facebook privacy settings and control the views of your photo gallery limited to persons who you know and trust.
- If you have a penchant to post explicit photos of yours make sure you share them with only those who are trustworthy.
- Also, always be wary and vigilant that you are not documented, recorded or videotaped when you are being intimate with your boyfriend. Do not agree to be videotaped either. Use your brain, think why in the world that your boyfriend needs to videotape you and him together if it is not to show someone else or be used against you in the future. Don’t be bimbos.
If you have become a victim, what you could do next to protect yourself further:
- Report the page and your picture to Facebook and request to take down the page or picture immediately.
- Remove/block all those strangers you added/accepted as friends from your Facebook friend list.
- Limit the view to your pictures only to those whom you know personally and trust.
Remember, whatever goes on the Internet, it will be beyond your control, so always think twice before uploading pictures or posting anything on Facebook.
My niece who’s in Form 2 is into this Facebook frivolous accepting Facebook friend requests from unknown guys and she updates statuses like:
What will you do if you meet me?
- Take me out
- Belanja me
- Hold my hand
- Walk with me
- Kiss me
- Hug me
I don’t even have to tell you about the likes and comments. I wasn’t friends with her on Facebook for obvious reasons. I was checking on her from time to time (her privacy setting was public) and realizing that she’s derailing, I messaged her in Facebook private chat, advising her and she blocked me.
So, like my niece, you can choose to take the words of caution above or not. Advice panna kasakum but after kena senju, “Aiyo, amma kaapatunggeh nu oppari vekke vendithu.” It’s up to you now my fellow Malaysians of Indian descent girls..