I am sure by now you know who is Kalpana Bales or rather, ‘HEARD’ her. In case you haven’t heard of her, here is Kalpana Bales doing what she does which shot her to the pinnacle of fame.
Now, Kalpana Bales became an overnight star due to this song which went viral on Facebook. Initially, she was chastised for singing off tune but in time, that off tune singing became Kalpana Bales’ trademark and it garnered her both fame and infamy, fans and haters. She has, since released many ulta paatu, including Kolai Veri in the wake of Naan Oru Sindhu and it seems that there’s no stopping her. Already Facebook pages dedicated to Kalpana Bales are springing up like mushrooms after rain.
I am writing this article on Kalpana Bales not to promote her but to point out the hypocrisy, uncouth and holier than thou conduct of many Malaysian Indians at Kalpana Bales’ brand of entertainment.
Kalpana Bales’ fans
Okay, I am not a fan of Kalpana Bales and neither I support her. I just respect her individual rights. After all, she’s doing what she likes and it’s not against the law.
The fans of Kalpana Bales adore her style of distorting Tamil songs up, adding her brand of Fran Drescher’s drawl and pitch and tune. Her voice pitch only reminds me of my Indian girls schoolmates, shrill and glass shattering. As a prefect, I had a hard time telling them to keep quiet during the school assemblies.
It won’t be wrong to say Kalpana Bales turned those who were her haters into her fans slowly but surely.
As per my research, many people, including my best friend find Kalpana hilarious and watching her strutting her stuff busts their stress. As long as Indians here don’t start adulating Kalpana Bales and start fighting with her detractors it’s fine.
The fence sitters on Kalpana Bales’ talent
I am in this category. I neither find Kalpana Bales entertaining nor annoying. There were sequences of her crooning that made me burst into laughter while others made me smile. The linguist in me found herself correcting Kalpana Bale’s Tamil pronunciation. I can’t help it guys, I’m a stickler for correct language.
Many fence sitters’ reaction at Kalpana Bales’ singing is suffused with sarcasm or faked terror.
Here are some of the comments I read from such people on Kalpana Bales’ video on Facebook:
- She would win a Grammy award.
- Celine Dion pichai edukanum.
- Australian Shreya Goshal ivungge than.
- AR Rahman is waiting for her.
The commentators do slant to a gradient of disapproval but I consider this mild compared to what Kalpana Bales’ complete detractors said about her that made me feel compelled to reprimand so that we all can change for the better.
Kalpana Bales’ vindication kacheri aarambam
For all the smart asses out there who say Kalpana Bales is spoiling golden Tamil songs from India, please take an Oxford dictionary and find out the meaning of the word ‘spoof’. And, haven’t you heard old Tamil songs being remixed to sound new? So, the remixed new songs make the old songs lose their quality and appeal? It goes both ways and when you only attack Kalpana Bales it makes you look like a complete hypocrite and coward who only dare to show your teeth at greenhorns. Why didn’t all of you, denounce AR Rahman when he remixed the song Thottal Poo Malarum and Pon Magal Vanthal? You may say that the latter songs sound nice but Kalpana Bales’ don’t (according to your auditory taste) but it is not like Kalpana Bales forcibly make you listen to her. You made the choice to listen to her sing and you can always make the choice to not listen to her since you find it offensive. Right?
A guy named Purushothaman Paramjothee who perhaps loathes Kalpana Bales to the bottom of his gut had this message to Kalpana Bales and I shall rebut each of his points. This also goes to Kalpana Bales’ staunch detractors:
“Seriously, what is wrong with you KALPANA BALES?”
Nothing, she just expresses herself by uploading herself singing on YouTube.
“As a music lover, I can’t take it. You are spoiling almost all the SUPERB SONGS and you are making yourself famous by doing that.”
Kalpana Bales is not spoiling all the SUPERB SONGS sir; she’s making spoofs. LEARN THE DIFFERENCE. If you can’t take it, don’t listen. Simple.
Kalpana Bales gained infamy, not fame initially. If only Indians ignored her then she would not have become an overnight star. Your attention, both negative and positive kept her in the limelight. So what if she makes herself famous? Are you envious? Her main aim is to entertain people by making parodies of songs and she got famous for all the wrong and right reasons as the consequence. You, sir, played a huge role in making Kalpana Bales more famous when you can’t stomach the popularity she gained and I see that you are completely oblivious to that.
“Have you ever think how hurt it would be to those who composed the songs and musics, those who wrote the lyrics, and those who sang the songs?”
Sir, I am yet to see Chitra, Ilaiyaraja, Dhanush, Anirudh, Vaali, Sivamani, etc rushing to court to sue Kalpana Bales on the grounds that you mentioned. And, sir you should really watch programs like American Idol and Super Singer auditions. Although my musical knowledge is rudimentary, all the music in the world are based on 7 notes, Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do. From Beethoven to Anirudh, music is made using those 7 key notes and altering/copying bits and pieces of tunes is a normal practice. Refer to the video below:
“Music and songs are for enjoyment. Do you know how IRRITATING your songs are? Can we get relaxation listening to your songs when we need some peace of mind? And the worst part is you even spoilt BHARATHIYAR’s songs too.”
Exactly and Kalpana Bales enjoys what she does and many people do too. You don’t account for the whole of mankind sir. People are diverse and their tastes are diverse. You may not enjoy Kalpana Bales singing but can you say that every person on the planet dislike the way Kalpana Bales sings? Many people say listening to Kalpana Bales make them feel relaxed and provide them peace of mind. If you find her singing agitating, don’t listen to her. Who’s forcing you to listen to her? I dislike the song, June Ponal, July Varum but you don’t find going out of my way telling the world how much I hate the way that song was put together. Your noise, my music – Deepika Padukone.
Wow, now Kalpana Bales’ is spoiling Bharathiyar’s songs eh? How ironic, celebrate Rajinikanth’s birthday, overlooking Bharathiyar’s birthday which falls 2 days before Rajinikanth’s and now glorify Bharathiyar’s songs just because Kalpana Bales sung them in a distorted way. Bharathiyar would be so proud of you bro.
“That is my limit. I couldn’t take it anymore. There are alot of talented SINGERS out there who are waiting for their chances to prove their talents and you are getting fame by spoiling the songs.”
If you can’t take it anymore ( the word ‘anymore; hints that you wantonly listened to Kalpana Bales singing more than once at your own choice even though you deem it annoying), don’t watch her sing anymore. You mean Kalpana Bales is usurping the chances of other talented singers to prove their mettle? This is so wrong on so many levels. What people look foremost in singers are originality and creativity besides talent. Although Kalpana Bales’ talent is subject to deliberation, her videos are high on originality and creativity aspects. Accordingly, she created a niche for herself. Your claim is seriously misguided. There are so many platforms for talented or wannabee singers to showcase their stuff, for Malaysian Indians, there are Vaanavil Superstar, Avatharam Aarambam, etc. I don’t follow those programs but many Indians do. Kalpana Bales is only singing on YouTube so you saying she singing depriving other budding singers of chances is very shallow. Above all, Kalpana Bales is not a Malaysian so drawing a correlation of her to Malaysian Indian singers and future singers is very ignorant. Saying Kalpana Bales is stealing the chances of other upcoming singers is like saying the minority Indians and Chinese in Malaysia deprive the majority Bumiputera of a level playing field. An oxymoron.
“As a music lover, I am totally against this.”
Sir, music has no language and boundaries. Beethoven composed Ode of Joy when he was almost completely deaf. Music transcends physical attributes and kids with learning disabilities have become savants in music. The human brain is tuned to different music, differently. I’ll let this song from Minsara Kanavu to do the talking for me:
But, at least Purushothaman voiced his displeasure on Kalpana Bales’ singing in a civil way. There are some people who choose to launch tirades on Kalpana Bales as a person rather than her singing, calling her a bitch, ombothe and other names. Those people are exactly the ones who thump their chests that Indians taught the world civilisation. That civilisation only remains in our history – it is no longer applied. Since when degrading a person with such demeaning names became a hallmark of Indian civilisation we all are so proud of?
All many Indians here need is a subject or a person to denigrate. Most people in our community are on the constant lookout to find someone they can shame and condemn so that they will appear superior and feel good about themselves. They feel that it’s their birthright to denounce others who attract attention of the masses in newfangled dimensions. Instead of ameliorating our relegated existences we prefer criticising fellow Indians whom we deem being out of line culturally or on a personal level, completely disregarding individual rights and human rights.
Many Indians here are the epitome of the Indian nandu kathey. The minute they see an Indian rising up, they will do everything in their power to pull the Indian down. Avunggelum munneramatangge, matthavengeleyum munnere vide maatangge. I have experienced this kind of attitude first hand. As long as this type of attitude prevails it will be very difficult for us to make progress as a community.
Kalpana Bates is having the last laugh
My first impression and comment on Kalpana Bales is, “I admire her confidence.” I truly do. I wouldn’t last a day in Kalpana Bales’ shoes given the caustic comments her singing tack brought her. But, she pushed on, making more spoof videos until many changed their minds about her. There is a lot we can learn from this woman ugaiz. She collected the bricks hurled at her and built an edifice. Her cool as a cucumber attitude is very refreshing. The way she answered her critics is admirable. She focuses on the positive side of life, letting go of negative people and better yet made them turn around in her own way and charm.
Kalpana Bales is amicable towards her haters. And, she’s having the last laugh. She will surf on this wave of popularity as long as it lasts and going by the looks of things and her personality, she’s gonna stay a primadonna for quite a while, not that I’m complaining.
Kalpana Bales, you rock sistah!