Is your child capable to survive without your presence? Is your child independent enough to lead his/her own life if anything happens to you? Children always expect their parents to be beside them for reasons such as moral support or financial support. Do you think is it good for children to rely on their parents all the time? Every parent should ensure that their children are self-reliant and confident enough before stepping into the new world after their higher secondary education. But, in our Malaysian Indian community, this is lacking and this is the root of various social problems that sieges us. Kids should be self-reliant, which means that the children should be brave, creative, independent, spontaneous and competent. Parents should aim to build such traits in their children.
This is because, independent children should not always seek for attention, support or any influence to develop themselves – they should, instead strive hard on their own to achieve their goals. Most social problems in our Indian teenagers today are caused because of the lack of self-reliance in the teenagers themselves. Who is the reason behind this yoke? Definitely and undeniably parents are the main reason. Many parents hover around their as long as they are around, being like a fussy hen. I am not blaming and pointing an accusing finger at all parents, but some of the parents who are not allowing their children to move independently. Indian teachers who are parents do this a lot – the teachers would put their children in the same school where they teach and try to be their children’s class teacher in the school, always pampering their children and giving some extra marks in exams. They have a common notion that, it will help to increase their children’s confidence level. Contrastingly, such actions would erode the ability of the children to be self-reliant. That was just a common example which we see in our everyday life. Not only teachers, some parents are willing to bribe teachers to add some extra marks for their children in exams. So, when do you think the child will start to move independently?
So what the parents should do?
Therefore, parents should provide enough space for their children to be free and learn what is independence, so that they can use it wisely. If you still feel insecure to let your child free , there are some ways to build self-reliance in your child under your supervision. For example, you can assign your children to do some chore (no matter boys or girls…), routine activities and send them to martial arts classes rather than tuition. These practices will nurture the self-reliance in your child. Do not forget that over parenting would also cause stress to your child. Self-reliance does not only mean being independent, it also allows a person to think, decide and differentiate what is right and what’s wrong. It is essential for a parent to provide some space to build such a trait in their children. Because, moral values could not be taught, can only be instilled through our daily experience. So, let your children learn something for their future.
If every parent raise their child to be self-reliant, many problems can be solved in a short span of time because, self-reliant kids will always be clear on their visions and bold in their actions. They would not indulge in negative activities, or lose hope or back off easily when obstacles appear before them. Teach your children to fly, before letting them free.
[c5ab_box type=”alert-warning” ]This article is contributed by our reader, Mr Selvakumanan. Follow him on Facebook[/c5ab_box]