Falling in love is all beautiful, pure and ethereal and for some of our Indian secondary school and college going girls and yuppies, their notion on love is narrowed as such.
While some girls search for a loosu to spend on them, being gold diggers, there are many girls banking on true and everlasting love and it is at this point where they lose the ability to use their damn brains.
I’m not saying that girls should stay away from love and only settle for arranged marriage. It is 2014, not 1942. I am only highlighting for girls to be wary and not be blinded by love to the extent of sending nude photos of themselves to their boyfriends and later sit and cry when the photos get misused by those kind of jerks who are full of lust and bad intentions.
I know that this is an old issue; I have heard many horror stories. But, I am prompted to write this because a friend of mine was stupid enough to MMS herself nude to her boyfriend whom she has been dating only for about 6 months. This girl is very beautiful. I have never seen the guy but I am sure he looks like a kambi karat.
He had been compelling her to send nude pictures of herself just into 6 months of the relationship. At first, she was aghast and vehemently refused to do what he asked, and then the scumbag uttered the ultimate dialogues an Indian girl in love would definitely succumb to, “Nee yenneh unmaiya kaadhalikireh na, naan sonnathe sei. Unakku yen mele nambikei ille yah? Ivlo than ah nee en mele vecchi irukere piriyam? Ithe kude nee ennakaaga seiya maatiya? Manasale, nee than di en pondati. Naan ennikum unne kai vidamaten, promise di.” Classic case of menanam tebu di bibir and emotional coax bordering blackmail all done in the professed name of everlasting love.
Yes, my friend now has something everlasting but it is not love; it is fear, mental anguish and humiliation because the next thing that happened after she sent the man she loved her full glory, he just disappeared. He could not be contacted and she never heard from him again. Heavens know what he did to her photos and the girl is fearing the worst. While the guy is a 3rd rate criminal, this girl is an educated fool. What she did for professing true love is plain stupidity and to think she has known him for only 6 months and the amount of trust and love she had for him to pose nude for him are far from sensible.
Take Amanda Todd’s case for example. She trusted a stranger on Facebook who cajoled her to send him her topless photo and later he circulated it all over the Internet. The poor girl was also subjected to vitriolic bullying and harassment both in real life and on social networks until she ended her own life.
In the Tamil movie Valakku Enn 18/9, the rich boy would somehow take video of his date undressing herself after getting wet at the beach. Luckily she saw what was filmed and took the memory card from his mobile phone. The boy intended to show his date’s nudity to his friends.
Another case that happened in Chennai is bone chilling. A scum filmed himself smooching and making out with his girlfriend in his car and uploaded it into You Tube and it went viral – over 100,000 hits. Many of the comments made on the video were very the gatal and, glorifying the act encouraging it. The girl’s life is ruined if he leaves her.
Locally, a girl sent her full glory to her boyfriend when he did not believe her when she told him she was in the midst of taking a shower. For proving that she was telling the truth, she snapped herself naked in the bathroom and sent it to her veenapona mundam, vetti thandam lover and he showed the pic to his friends to boast he has a hot and dumb chick as a girlfriend. Ithukku per than kaadhala?
A guy who loves a girl sincerely and for all intents and purposes wants to make her his better half would never ask for her nude profile and maybe sex too at anytime of their period of dating (except for mutual exchange and carnal consent on both sides with no pressure involved). Girls must understand that first. Don’t be so vulnerable and impressionable. Use your brain. THINK!! Learn to tell the difference between love and lust and a gentleman and a sex maniac. No point crying after you got screwed. What you lost will never come back.
Worse cases are where guys talk their girlfriends into sending their nude profiles to them only to threaten them for sexual favours in return for them not releasing their nudity on Internet porn sites. Many girls are suffering in silence. It is not very wise of them. On a sympathetic note, inasmuch as what has been done cannot be undone, these kinds of cases can be easily solved by the interference of law and order – these kind of guys are usually chickens, who go, “Amma” when stripped down to only jatti and flogged. Your Amma is female too so learn to respect females.
We live in an ambivalent society – torn by modern western values and Indian orthodox values and we fail to strike a balance. We rather dwell on extremely opposing tenets of both opposing values. While youngsters don’t see premarital sex as an abomination, our society largely see it as an abomination. We cannot blame modernity and technology. The buck is on how we use them or rather misuse them. A knife can kill but the same knife can save lives via surgery.
Our elders rather worry what society would think and say rather than being supportive to their adolescent brood which is trying to escape from traditionalism, keeping up with globalization.
At the end of the day, our never-ceasing-from-being-judgmental society, especially at girls wins, like it or not.
Girls, please know and understand and stay away from such sick predators who are only interested of getting you laid down and then leave you in a lurch. Prevention is better than cure. Those douchebags don’t deserve to live what more love. The next minute your boyfriend asks you for your nude pictures in just months of being in relationship, take it as a Danger sign and activate your ‘On full alert mode’. And if he coerces you, dump the bugger because he is only in love with your physique, not your character and convictions. Believe me, he is not worth it.
If you don’t have qualms on sending nude pictures of yours to your boyfriends, by all means, go ahead. But do it at your own risk. Don’t complain when our society piles shame and blame you, not the criminal who possibly dented your stature. I know it is unfair but life is never fair. But then, there is no pleasing both sides, so you might as well please yourself by doing whatever you want and face whatever the consequences of your actions stoically. It is all up to you, girls.
There are good guys out there who are cultured and upright so girls do an assessment to the guys who approach you. Besides looking out for the life sustaining 5 Cs, include another C for Character. Be choosy because it is your life which is up for stake. Love a guy who is deserving of your love. Nalla pasanggala paathu love panni, kalyanam panni allava petthukittu santhosham ah irungge pa. Ithu than yennode message-u. Lucha pasangge kitte maatikittu avasthei padathingge Nandri, vanakkam.