About the author

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Aradhana

She has an opinion on every Malaysian Indian goings on. She can be called Karuthu Kannama. She writes on issues that matter in our Indian community and forwards fresh and sometimes revolutionary ideals.

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12 Comments

  1. 1
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    gurudev

    aradhana i dunno wats ur age is… bt after reading ol of ur post an stories….. u r so gud n with high sense of humor…. keep it up…. if there is another few mor indian like u… our community will be much mor greater… 🙂

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    1. 1.1
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      Aradhana

      Thank you brother 🙂

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  2. 2
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    Mathan

    I’m not sure whether @gurudev giving compliment or making fun of you. That’s other story.
    The story I not sure is this line “I ask what is the mistake of the girl? She loved a guy? She slept with someone she thought she would marry? ”
    ? So will continue sleep with who over said will love / marry her?
    – After marriage I hope she don’t sleep with other if husband didn’t show love.

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    1. 2.1
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      Aradhana

      Mathan, I can turn the tables. Why are you not criticizing the guy who cheated on her? Why are you siding the potential cheaters waiting to pounce on her? Oh wait, coz you are male right; you are untouchable right. Why are you judging her character? What about the character of the guy who bedded then leave her? What if her husband commit adultery? Those men are pardonable and this girl is not. You are seeing this in gender based lens. I’m seeing it on conduct based lens and where conduct is concerned, gender becomes immaterial.

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      1. 2.1.1
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        Mathan

        I don’t judge anyone’s character, I don’t have the right to do so to judge anyone other than my self. Also who wrong who right, for ME its insoluble. If girls don’t give space, do you think guys will have the any opportunity? If you side on girls, then how about guys? All guys looking for glory holes?
        For those who married, I don’t think owner look for second hand part if first part is doing well. This stories will go on and on.
        Simple : my question is will she?

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        1. 2.1.1.1
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          Aradhana

          You are judgmental. OUTRIGHT JUDGMENTAL. If girls don’t give space, do I think guys will have any opportunity? Your logic is so flawed my friend. Like you asked, are all guys looking for glory holes? I say no. But, let me ask you, who is more sexually vigorous, aggressive and demanding? Male or female? Males right? Males coax and cajole females into sex; it is not otherwise. In the animal kingdom, males have fancy plumes or attractive fur that they display when they want to woo females. In human males, there are sweet talk, emotional blackmail, prove your love, lavishing girls with gifts, etc, etc . Some girls fall for it, some don’t! So, your question is illogical in itself. If girls don’t give space, do I think guys have any opportunity? Have you ever heard of RAPE or DATE RAPE for that matter? I am siding conduct, not gender. I seem to side girls because all the shame is put on her for losing virginity before marriage while the guy is left off the hook. This is the inequality that I am addressing. If you want a virgin wife, don’t have sex before marriage guys. If no guy touches another girl before marriage, both of them will be pure. On the same wavelength, if guys touch other girls before marriage then both are impure. In the latter case, the girls take all the aspersions, the guy, exonerated. The ‘girl’ character I mentioned in this post is a fictional one. And, owner? Who owns the girl? Her husband? He should be her better half that complements her. She’s not a cow to be owned. If she is indeed regarded as a cow, beaten and raped by her owner, the cow will try to escape and find greener pastures. If she’s a woman and she finds out that her husband is impotent, she could either do what Padma Priya did in the film Sattham Podathey, provided her impotent husband is abusive and hates his adopted child. Sex matters less for girls than guys so if the impotent husband is loving, caring and loves his wife and adopted child, surely she’ll stay married and faithful to him. And, I suggest you read up polygamy. This is now way too digressive.

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  3. 3
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    Mathan

    “You are judgmental”, well I’ll take that as a compliment and thanks.
    Which logic make you think it’s flawed my dear friend? Indeed I’ll keep my decision that no way a girl can lose purity without her will? Not all guys looking for glory hole? “Some” girl fall for it? I don’t think we following western culture and we INDIANS! know what is culture. Our ancestor thought us well about culture how to be and how not to be! I use to heard (“HEARD”!) that Tamil girl is not easy to be woo without her parent acknowledge or both parties parent meet and set up marriage AND then on the 1st night it’s all happen. But now, I don’t think so. Show love or promise, that’s it (for some). Is it parental problem? friend’s influence? self? Why want to argue till animal kingdom? Rape? tell me the cases Malaysia Indian committed. I can see your so call siding conduct not gender. I want to type more and have good conversation, but ………………………………………….
    Not to forget, let me rephrase what I meant ” I don’t think owner (husband) will look for second hand part (mistress) if first part (wife) is doing well. And impotent? IMPOTENT?? Trust me WE MEN are working hard to satisfy our girlfriend/wife so they will happy. Women sacrifices many things for us and we men also trying to do the same thing to make family/ surrounding happy. I can say from looking at my dad, married friend and so on. Don’t take everything negative and miss fire everywhere. Keep to the question. And from where this legendary Ms. Padma Priya came from? It’s a movie (movie movie movie) *I am laughing while typing -__-)

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    1. 3.1
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      Aradhana

      Owner? A husband owns his wife? That logic is the one I find grossly flawed. You think women should be owned by their husbands? Seriously? So, can we resume sati then? Let women burn on their husbands’ funeral pyre. Let’s regress. When I talked about rape, I meant it in a rounded way like you saying that not all men are sex maniacs. Two Indian rape cases here – Audrey Melissa who was gang raped then murdered and a pregnant Indian woman who killed her rapist. Please define purity in girls. If a guy touches a girl’s pinky finger accidentally, does that mean that the girl is now impure? How about guys’ purity? Don’t they have any? Haha, you contradict your own statement. You say men work hard to satisfy your girlfriend and wives (thanks for giving women some recognition albeit it leaves much to be desired) and you see that in your dad and married friends and so on then say that you don’t think owner will look for second part if first part works well. Why don’t you ask the owner of your mother this? He will definitely give you the answer. As for the movie, it is a true story, like the movie Provoked. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. I am not taking anything negative here; I’m just stating facts your male ego refuses to accept. As for me, I will love my husband who is a good person even if he is impotent; character matters more than libido for me.

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  4. 4
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    Common Man

    I got face this before. One of my friend asking me do i will marry a girl who her virginity has been taken by other guy. I say i will. Everyone does mistake and its not on girls fault. Surely i will marry if the girl loses her virginity. I want to make this girl walk with pride infront of others and shower my pure love on her. And this is not to just a word, but its an promise 🙂

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    1. 4.1
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      Aradhana

      Kudos brother. 😛

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  5. 5
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    TroyKash

    We are all individuals living specific unique lives designed by God, there is no point pondering over virginity here. If she or he is a person who would care and support u till old, who the hell cares about virginity.STD however is something we all should worry about 🙂 cheers!

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  6. 6
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    Jesadimai PangiRaj

    I don’t consider virginity to be a big deal but when a lot of girls..especially Tamil girls character assassinate men for making adult jokes or watching porn, I find it hard to pity such girls when they get a taste of their own medicine. I have seen the worst kind of hypocrites among Tamil girls. Thirututhanama, these self proclaimed bastions of morality watch porn and do everything.

    People say that girls in Mumbai and Delhi are ‘promiscuous’ but the truth is that a Tamil girl will do much more but shroud it in hypocrisy.

    If a virgin guy asks for a virgin wife, it is ok. At least he is not a hypocrite. However, a non-virgin man demanding a virgin is bad. I believe both husband and wife should be open to each other about past relationships and whether they had sex. Trust me on this, even the most open minded man won’t marry you if you have STDs. Condoms can help to an extent but don’t offer full protection.

    Reply

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