By now, y’all would have heard about the Delhi Aunty who dress policed several girls in a restaurant for wearing short dresses. She also told the men around to rape those girls and any girls they see dressed like this. The Internet blew up with many supporting the girls. But, the reaction from a good chunk of TN boys is bizarre or perhaps typical is the apt word.
As it is evident, many Tamil boys and Tamil girls support the Delhi aunty – a Tamil girl even called those girls lucky for not being in Tamilnadu, that Tamil boys won’t leave them simply. I suppose the Tamil boys would rape them as the Delhi aunty suggested? Wow, so much for a state that prides itself for being the safest for women in India, with the one-off incident of Jallikattu protests where not one woman was sexually harassed cited time and again while the Pollachi case being blamed on the 200 women victims victimised over a span of 7 years.
Let’s get back to the Delhi Aunty and the Tamil boys supporting her
Well, it’s not news that our favourite pastime as a people is being nosy about what women wear, what they do, what they consume, etc. This case is no different. But, the point these Tamil boys keep making is sexual attraction. They make it sound diabolical and unnatural when it’s the reason why we were born and completely natural. Do you think women don’t get sexually attracted? Do you think women don’t check out men? We do it all the time.
Dear Tamil boys, when you see girls wearing short dresses, you don’t have to heed to the Delhi aunty’s behest to rape them. Be in touch with your humanity and don’t harm anyone.
The point is, sexual attraction needn’t transform into sexual violence. And, let me tell you, it doesn’t. At least for normal people. By supporting the Delhi aunty Tamil boys, you just announced yourself not as a potential rapist but a rapist in public. You’ve given caveats that people should blacklist you as rapists. And, you think it’s something to be proud of, that you’re saving culture. Tsk, tsk, tsk. No one is telling you not to look or be sexually attracted – looking and getting attracted are natural. Raping isn’t. You can go and tell the girls you find attractive that they are beautiful. You happy, they happy, everyone happy.
Nothing wrong at all in admiring girls like this.
Truly, dressing isn’t even a big deal. And, if you rave on about traditional dressing, ancient Indians weren’t champions of modestly covering up. They were practical. The sweltering Equator sun necessitated little clothing made from sweat absorbent cotton cloth and that’s what they wore. So, if we are to go back to how our ancestors were dressed then short dresses are not a matter of forbidden clothes – instead, it’s close to what our ancestors wore. The influence of covering up was brought by the Victorian and Muslim colonials, viceroys and invaders.
Anyway, who cares about what our ancestors did. We should do what is needed now, what’s practical and relevant today – you use Facebook, not smoke signals to communicate because our ancestors did the latter. A girl in a short dress is just a girl in a short dress. It’s not an invitation to do anything else. You say such women ask for it but rape in itself is an act of force so when you are raping someone, they aren’t a willing participant. So, how can someone who asks for it resist? Logically incoherent isn’t it? No one asks to be raped just like no one asks to be robbed.
The Delhi aunty Tamil supporters also ask, “Why wear like prostitutes?” I wonder how to wear like to prostitutes. Look, dressing is a human right. Raping is a crime. Learn the difference. On why women show such parts, it’s for the same reason why men show their abs, biceps, and triceps. Social validation. It’s normal and just like women don’t rape men showing off their muscles, well, return the gesture. Women do rape men and it’s not due to men’s dressing – it’s power complex. Rapists are opportunists and they look for the most vulnerable to victimise, not the most scantily clad.
Not raping or not sexually harassing someone is a socially expected behaviour – expecting praise and doing self-praise for it is abject, you know the pride of not sexually harassing women during Jallikattu. If you’re proud of not sexually harassing anyone, then you have very, very, very low standards of humanity in you. If you’re not proud of not murdering someone, then you shouldn’t be proud of not sexually harassing someone. What do you need to do as to not sexually harass someone? Do nothing to them. Is doing nothing so hard?
So, I asked quite a number of Tamil boys supporting the Delhi aunty, if you see girls in short dresses, what you will do? The answer was monotonous, “I won’t do anything. But, not everyone is like me.” You doing nothing is enough (although I doubt your claim) and telling everyone else to do nothing to women is a great social service that you can do very easily within your circle. You don’t have to be a feminist to do that. Humanity isn’t our best quality – it’s our basic quality. Women are humans – see them and everyone else as human beings who feel pain just like you. The thought of raping or harming others will never occur to you.