There is a general allegation that the dressing sense of Indian girls here cause sexual harassment. Jannal veche jacket, bare back jacket, low hip, sleeveless, midriff baring, tight and barely there tops and jeans, leggings, mini skirts, etc.. Indian guys say such dressing sense provoke them to ogle and invade the privacy of Indian girls who dress as such. They say girls whose dressing sense is such are asking for it. Really?
Humans are social creatures and one thing humans constantly crave for is attention. Attention can be divided into two, WELCOME ATTENTION and UNWELCOME ATTENTION and the latter falls in the sexual harassment category. Not only females dress to impress, males dress to impress as well. It’s contained in our evolution – this assessment based on external appearance. But, guys bothering an unknown girl basing solely on her dressing sense is unwarranted.
Categorizing the dressing sense of Indian girls
Okay, some Malaysian Indian guys feel provoked and are predisposed to harass girls when they are outfitted in the dressing sense mentioned above. Can any guy vouch that girls that are dressed otherwise are never sexually harassed? I was harassed when I was clad in school uniform by boys from other schools (I studied in secondary all girls schools) and older guys alike. I always carried books in my hands whenever I travel from home to school and vice versa. I used the books to cover my chest and boys will pass comments within my earshot,”She’s covering strategically man..” One incident I remember vividly happened when I was 13. I was walking home from where the school bus dropped me. A bunch of Indian guys were always congregated at the shop lot situated at the pathway leading up to where I lived. It was their routine to harass me and I ignored them, walking briskly past them, head hung low. On one particular day a guy said aloud,“Book-u bag le vekkenum, ive yengge vechiruka, potong stim betul..” I maybe 13 but I knew what the guy implied. I was outraged and since I cannot and too timid to take out my temper at the guy, I took it out at a plant at the side of the road. I angrily grabbed and plucked the leaves of the plant and the guys laughed and said,“Aiyo, bayama irukku, kova padra paaru da..” For them, my anger is a joke and for them to ridicule my attempt to cover my assets so that they can derive pleasure by seeing them is a birth right, one that I, the object of their desire shouldn’t challenge. Is our girls school uniform revealing? Should the Malaysian Education Ministry change the sexy school girls uniform into burqa? But then, ladies covered in burqa are not free from sexual harassment too.
With the real life experience above do the involved Indian guys still pass the buck on the Indian girls dressing sense of being the sole factor for guys to harass girls? Okay, now let’s leave out school uniform and come to casual dressing sense of girls. I used to go to the public library to study, dressed in baggy Tees and straight cut jeans with my class mates on Saturdays – my dressing sense was by no means racy but I and my Indian friends (girls) weren’t spared from unwanted attention and sexual harassment from Indian guys whose motive of coming to library was doubtful. Mind you, only Indian guys behaved as such, being like hyenas following a trail of blood. Any wonder why other races here don’t respect us?
Dressing sense of Malaysian Indian girls is also used as the scapegoat by some Facebook page admins who claim that they are teaching a lesson for Indian girls on how to dress appropriately by publicly featuring their pictures and have random guys comment vulgarly and even ask the mobile numbers of the girls. That’s not teaching a lesson; that’s cyber sexual harassment. In actuality, many of the Indian girls in the pages are not Malaysians in the first place. They are Desi girls from India. The Desi girls photos is a tactic to lure Malaysian Indian guys to share pics of Malaysian Indian girls regardless of the girls being scantily clad or not.
Who gave any right to some Indian guys to police the dressing sense of Indian girls on Facebook or real life for that matter? For those Facebook admins of pages which feature Indian girls who keep on popping up despite outcries and reports, why do you want a create a repository of Indian girls collection, regardless if their dressing sense is revealing or not and then brand them vandi and other demeaning brands that I cannot mention here? Were you on the girls’ back ever since they hit puberty? Do you know their life story to judge them as such? Is wearing clothes that bare some skin illegal? No, sexual harassment is illegal.
Dressing sense of Chinese women here is more explicit than Indian girls but no Indian guy would harass a Chinese girl wearing skimpy clothes. Why? It’s because if they do so, siap la, kena hentam. Selective sexual harassment, bluster only shown at those who seem meek and mousey, belong to a race that is tacitly agreeable with male entitlement and those they know won’t cause any problem to them, those who wouldn’t hit back. That is the true criteria for sexual harassment, not dressing sense. On what base do you think pedophiles operate? That is the same base where sexual tormentors operate. In my initial teen years, I was fearful and it showed in my body language and that was the real reason I was easy game for sexual harassment, not my dressing sense. I was only brave enough to take my anger out at an unassuming, innocent plant and I seemed even more vulnerable to the guys, that they are invincible.
Okay, the claim that Indian girls come to temples dressed obscenely and that it’s a major distraction. You come to temple to pray so why let your eyes wander? Why can’t you take the sight of the beautiful women around you in temples as Maayai or try to outdo Sage Vishvamitra? There are many more distractions in temples which are more disruptive – cell phones with ringtones like, “Maamaaaoooiii, neenggeh yenggeh irukingge?” and, “Kalasala, kalasala, kalasala,” ladies and gentlemen alike gossiping and uncontrollable kids making a cacophony. Yet, some Indian males choose to zoom on girls’ who come to temples dressing sense like it’s the sin of the highest order. Nowadays, there are jippas which aren’t fastened on the front starting from neck downwards which Indian guys wear to temples. Do we hear anyone complaining about that dressing sense of Indian guys apply when going to temples? NOPE. Yean na, avan ambele singgam. Womaigad.. Penn singgam illeya?
I won’t blame Indian guys in entirety. Our Indian patriarchal system plays a vital role in producing males who feel entitled to subject females to their whim and fancy. Tamil movies too extend the idea that a guy can enamour a girl by teasing and following her around. Those are harassment and trust me, those types of attempts don’t endear the girl; it rather scares her and drives her away. Following and teasing are a major turn off guys. I was followed by guys many, many times and all I did was run away from them. Following is not a good idea – its harassment. Tamil movies chat up ideals are totally FUBAR.
Also I sense a hypocrisy in Tamil movies. I was watching Maan Karate the other day and Sivakartikeyan gets the motivation to knockout his boxing opponent when he says that he’ll intentionally lose if he could have Sivakartikeyan’s girlfriend for one night. That makes Sivakartikeyan bull mad. But, right before that scene, Hansika’s butt, navel and chest get zoomed at in a song. Similarly, in the movie Sivaji the Boss, Rajinikanth wants a traditional, modest girl. But Shreya doesn’t look so modest in the songs. The hypocrisy of Tamil movies and the objectification of women at its worst. This is proportional to the machas who want a racy girlfriend but a bashful, conservative and angelic wife and then complain that there are hardly any ‘good’ Indian girls out there any more. If good Indian girls are judged by their dressing sense alone then it is one of the most ludicrous judgment ever made in history. It’s like judging the book by its cover. External appearance and dressing sense constitute only 1% of the worth of the person. Like how there are bad boys, there are bad girls and you can’t tell whether they are good or bad by only looking at them superficially. Thirudane moonji paatha teriyuma?
Illuthu pothikere ponnu kudumba kutthuvilakum illei, miniskirt podre ponnu vekkam kettevelum illei. The claim that Malaysian Indian girls are harassed because of their dressing sense is lame. I am not saying that Indian guys should not look at Indian girls. Looking and staring are two different things. You can look cursorily and acknowledge the beauty before your eyes but not stare. Staring makes anyone uncomfortable and Indians have a staring problem. Guys, (some guys, there are a lot of gem of guys out there who respect women) just don’t blame the dressing sense of girls to justify your act of harassment. All you are looking for is a FEMALE to intimidate and objectify. Like Russel Peters says, “Be a man and do the right thing.” Following, teasing and lewdly describing the physique of a girl regardless of her being dressed scantily or not and then say her dressing sense provoked me are neither manly nor the right thing to do.