Indian girls have it tough. Blame is piled up on them for everything they do involving men. From losing virginity before marriage, to divorce up to remarriage, the society almost always judges the Indian female in bad light, that ‘these Indian girls tarnish the image of the society and spoil Indian culture’, ‘that because of these bad apples, the reputation of good Indian girls get besmeared’, and the most cliched one, ‘there are no good Indian girls anymore, all that remain are sluts and bitches.’
I wonder what does the definition of ‘good Indian girls’ mean. If the definition means, “Angelic, bashful, averse at the mere mention of sex, not assertive personified, must know how to cook and tie sari, soft-spoken, doesn’t defy male authority, bears up with husband’s abusive ways and live by the adage ‘kal aanalum kanavan, pul aanalum purushan and manalaney mangaiyin baghyam,” then it’s the Indian girls’ ethos of 1914, not 2014. And, those values closely resemble the Laws of Manu designed for women which are plainly sick, full of prejudice, misogynistic and human rights violating.
Indian society, no matter in India or Malaysia is always on the wait for a chance to judge Indian girls and the decisions they make. When the merest slip up or a bold, not politically correct deeds in the view of the Indian society are made, then the society gears up to assassinate the character of the girl, her life and her decision.
For the Indian society, policing Indian girls is an entitlement and not only Indian guys and elderly Indians do it, some Indian girls indulge in it too. Ask these people to talk about politics, education, the Republicans and Democrats, economy, pollution, global warming, climate refugees, ISIS, Gulf War, NATO, SOPA, terrorism and the Coalition of Willing’s role in it, Jose Murica, Boko Haram, quantum physics, Keppler probe, Goldilocks zone, Mars Mission, China’s encroachment of Tibet and Arunachal Pradesh, Dexamethasone, RSS, Modi, Jokowi, Ebola, etc and watch them get blank. Of course, it’s totally easier to demean Indian girls’ doing than to do something worthwhile like reading, learning new things THAT WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR LIFE and expand your general knowledge.
I am a feminist, yes but a reasonable one. I don’t see gender equality in Indian girls smoking and consuming alcohol to be on par with Indian guys. Smoking gives you bad breath and lung cancer and consuming liquor gives you liver cirrhosis, immaterial of gender. Not smoking and not drinking is a matter of leading a healthy lifestyle, not a matter of equality. What I define as gender equality is, men not defining how women should and should not behave, especially Indian guys at Indian girls and respect whatever decisions Indian girls make whether it means sleeping with her boyfriend, deciding to divorce her husband or leaving husband and kid for another man. If you decide to judge even, then don’t be partisan and only assassinate the character of such Indian girls. In each of the case I put forth above, there is a complementing complicit in the form of a male. Criticize and judge such males too. Baru adil kan? Play it fair. Like how the phrase ‘there are no good Indian girls anymore’ is coined, please use the phrase, ‘there are no good Indian guys anymore.’ Up for it?
To demean and judge Indian girls and their lives are like eating halwa for most Indians
First of all, I don’t get why so many Indians like to poke their noses into the butt of others and comment on how smelly the butts of others are when their own backsides are putrefying.
Whether she left her baby and husband or not is her own business.There are many such cases out there that don’t reach Facebook. Are you going to leave your work and seek out each case of adultery and then police them? There are many fathers who abandon their wives and children and pi cari bini lain, outnumbering women leaving their husband and children. The term single mother being more ubiquitous than the term single father is the testimony for this. Why only Indian ladies are policed and scrutinized for every single move? Who gave you the right? Don’t we have family problems? Are we so perfect and our lives so sublime we can judge the lives of others? If we mind our own business, we can come up in life. Instead of perfecting ourselves we spend time jaga-ing tepi kain orang lain. That’s why we are where we are now. People who are busy uplifting their lives won’t have time to judge the lives of others.
When I commented as such, I was denounced for supporting a slutty woman who is not fit to be a mother, missing my point altogether that I am alluding, “Avungge avungge veleye paathutu ponggeyah! Anthe pombele purusanum kolentheyum vittutu poita ungge veetuleh soru ponggatha? Ungge veetukku tsunami varuma?”
True to my outspoken, argumentative nature, I am diverging my vantage point to gender equality not to mention common sense and personal freedom.
In every case involving Indian couples breaking up and having extra marital affairs, blame is always put on the woman, the man is given prerogative and benefit of the doubt. There was no single negative comment about the man she ran off with. Why no judgment on how he might have brainwashed/lured/threatened/blackmailed/used black magic/mesmerised her, etc. This story grossly lacks credibility and impartiality and I assumed that Indians here are intelligent enough to figure it out, Well, apparently not. In consensus with this post forwarding one sided details, that is, solely blaming the woman, like she has done a sin of the highest order, as though all of us are saints and the exiguous details this post provided, isn’t it better for us to let the woman take care of her life and we take care of ours? Denigrating this woman is useless for the woman and the detractors – it’s not like she’s gonna return to her husband and child after seeing all the brickbats at her on the Facebook page. She’s gonna do what she wants anyway. Our boss ain’t gonna raise our pay if we spew diatribe on this woman. We, working, does.
Last but not least, if a woman walks out on her husband and goes with another man, she’s a slut, cunt, whore, etc. If a man walks out on a woman, then, the blame is also on the woman, “Anthe pombele sari illa athan purushan vittutu poitan.” That’s the Indian mindset. A woman should always bear up with her husband no matter how abusive he is, than she is a good woman. Never mind if the husband beat her to death like how the drug addict killed his wife, leaving 2 children motherless. Then we kutuk the woman as stupid for not leaving the abusive husband.
Assuming that this story is indeed true, I agree that what this lady did is not good. But, she might have her own personal reason, that we know nothing of and not ours to judge. This is her family problem and shame on the people who publicized a personal problem just to get some likes on Facebook. It is not entirely their fault – they are just cashing in on our community’s salivate for controversy and a good swearing at Indian girls session rather than doing something beneficial. And, due to our community’s petty preoccupations and internal dissonance I am forced to write about such trivial things rather than what matters. Shit. Even if I write on reforming articles, they don’t get as much attention as trifle topics get. That speaks volumes about what most Indians here, especially youth are interested in.
Lives are complicated – why should anyone at all, especially Indian girls live their lives up to the expectations of the society? When are you going to let others live their lives as they please when their decisions don’t affect you in any way and mostly, not unlawful? When are we going to differentiate which people and cases are worth our cause and time and which are not? Don’t like your rights to live as you please as long as it doesn’t flout the law be taken away? Then don’t take the rights of others away.
Instead of policing Indian girls’ virginity, dressing sense, decisions and lives, enhance your worldly knowledge. That will help you, not being a self righteous prick who’s self appointed mission is professedly trying to the ‘Guardians of Indian culture’ as opposed to human rights. These kinds of incidents don’t happen only in Indian community, they happen in other communities too so please broaden your perspective and know that the world doesn’t work the way you want. You call the woman immoral but you swear at her; that’s very moralistic indeed. Some say that they want to kill her and that’s a public threat. If the woman lodges a police complaint against you, you are done for. By all means, kill the woman and languish in prison. Stupid people in lockup is a good thing. THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN, NOT WITH YOUR ASS.