Everyone has the dream to have a big, fat wedding, and Indian weddings are the most elaborate ceremonies. Every Indian girl has the dream for the perfect wedding sari and the perfect reception gown never mind if her to be husband is perfect or not.
In the name of having the perfect Indian wedding, some Malaysian Indians go out of their means to have it done. While some Indian bachelors and bachelorettes save up to have the perfect Indian wedding, some of them would ask money from their parents.
And, parents would give their Employee Provident Fund (EPF) money to their kids who want to get married. Some parents would dig into their lifetime savings and bank deposits just so that their grown up kids can have the Indian wedding of their dreams. Some will go to the extent of asking for debt in order to have a wedding that would make others envious. Innum 10 varushathukku inthe maari oru kalyanam nadakele nu ooru pesunum. For that, they are willing to risk the long term monetary security of their parents and their own. Vetti bandha.
Indian wedding gone insanely extravagant
Still some Indians compete with relatives when it comes to holding the perfect Indian wedding. If a relative’s daughter’s wedding or wedding dinner had concert, then the competing one would arrange for the bride (the daughter) to arrive at the wedding in a bullock cart and have a Rajini mimicry artist professing best wishes to the couple Rajini style. This is a new trend emerging here; bullock cart is the new BMW – I went to such a wedding and it is perhaps inspired by this song by Rajini in the movie Panakkaran
Decking the bride with gold embellishment has also become a feature in the Indian wedding grand gloat. Gold jimiki, thonggata, netthi chutti, kaasu maalai, ottiyanam are worn by some well heeled brides especially in those Indian weddings conducted in Brahma muhurtham. Thirudaneh, yen veetuku thiruda va, va nu koopudera maariye irukkum.
Nowadays, Bollywood styled Indian weddings are getting famous – giving big business for wedding planner entrepreneur establishments. Grand engagement, mehendi night for the bride, stag party for the groom and a lavish 10 course meal themed wedding reception. And then, photo shoot in different costumes. The only time where machas don’t moral police Indian girls showing some skin is when they are posing with their husbands in such photo shoots.
Sometimes, I wonder, are we that shallow minded to pay 4 figures, for a synthetic-enhanced look alike on photopaper- just so that we can have bragging rights to those who bother to look at the album? I bet almost all looking at it, despite saying “Wah so pretty, very nice la ka” – would be laughing their bums off, on the inside.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not Taliban nor Puritan nor a tightwad. Even I wear make up and get my hair done and like looking dolled up. My contention is, do we need to spend thousands of RM just to look flawless for one day and at times take debt to pay for the bills? Is it worth it?
The most common justification or excuse rather on why some Indians here want such grandiose Indian wedding is because it happens only once in a lifetime. I think they don’t know what divorce is and if they do know and get divorced, they are not entitled for remarriages. I am not being pessimistic – I am speaking of reality.
For those who are quick to jump at me that it is their kaasu, panam, dhuttu, dabbu, money, money and they are free to do whatever hell they want with it, by all means please proceed. But, make sure you are the one who earned the money honestly, not your parents or from loan sharks and money lenders. For those who demand EPF money from their parents just to fulfill their Indian wedding fantasies, is it not enough that your parents have provided enough for you to be self sustainable and gave you enough to fend for yourself? The EPF money and lifetime savings of your parents is for them to be self sustainable and fend for themselves in later years, considering there are many ungrateful grown up children now who don’t even bother about their aged parents. One should be ashamed to ask money from parents to have a grand wedding. Thaiyum pilleh aanalum, vaayi, vayuru vereh vereh.. Panam kaasu eh kandu putta puli kude pull eh thinggum Kali kaalam aachu adi kanmani..
Parents, as much you love and trust your grown up children, keep some money aside for yourself. That is not selfishness – that’s sensibility.
Having grand Indian weddings is not a crime but sometimes, it comes off as a grand gloat – to show fellow Indians how much they got and that you don’t have what they got. Yes, people would go ooh and aah, feast on the 10 course meal and enjoy the noisy concert. (I personally don’t get why they have such a cacophony in the name of concert. Can’t even talk to relatives – one needs to shout to be heard. And, the rumble reverberates in my chest, eardrums, threatening to explode.) and then go home and forget about it. That’s it. Then, you are left with hutang keliling pinggang and face financial problems. One should invest in marriage, not invest in wedding. Cost of living is staggering and next year, we’d be burdened with GST so spend money wisely – A big fat Indian wedding is not worth it especially if you are not loaded.