Kaadhal dhesam

There is a discernible, distinct almost subconscious ideal of young Indian guys in love that Indian girls are insincere and even libertine when it comes to love.

Two outstanding cases happened in our community in recent times. A guy loved a girl but she got engaged with another guy. In bitterness, the macha poured a flammable solution on the girl who was heading home from work and set her on fire. The girl succumbed to her burn injuries. In another case a macha committed suicide because his girlfriend ditched him. He sent threatening photos of himself doing mock suicidal attempts to her but ava masiyile so avanode kathey eh avane mudichikittan. And then the friends of the dead shallow fellow launched a white knight witch hunt for the girl on Facebook, harbouring malicious intentions.

No one bothered to ask why the meenachi dumped the macha. Apparently, he was jobless and he was being apathetic about it so the girl left him and, he instead of getting a job, preferred committing suicide and all the blame was heaped onto the girl as the cause of his death. The allegation that she failed to support him through thick and thin and till death do them part was directed at the girl, that her love was fleeting. The macha, on the other hand was given a martyr status.

I am sure you all have heard Tamil songs sung by brokenhearted guys with the claim that girls are born to break the hearts of guys. Lyrics like ‘Uyire tholaithen, athu unnal thane, Ada aan ode kaadhal kai reghai poleh, penn ode kaadhal, kai kuttai (handkerchief) poleh, Adida avale, vothe da avale, theveye illeh.. etc have become the songs that play on our lips.

Kaadhalikkum bothu, “Ava thevathai macha..” Kaadhal thokkum bothu, “Ava the****ya macha..” This is the two extreme and such Tamil songs further entrench this biased mindset.

Girls are hard wired differently and this is shaped by evolution – it is indeed primitive, primal and contained in science, without which, life will cease to exist. Females search for males and ensure that the male they choose to procreate with is the best that they could find. Females want their offspring to be of the best quality so that the future generation has a good chance to live on and continue their genome – the survival of the fittest. So, if the male is not so productive and careless as well as reckless, it is not only natural but intuitive too for a female to reject him. So, don’t blame girls, blame evolution and if this ball game of nature is any different, you and I won’t be here today so please understand this fundamentalism which also extends to the theory of Eugenics. Why do you think our Powderful Woman, who got on the list of 10 most powerful women in Malaysia recently married a rich man with a Datuk title? Kaadhal ah? No, she married him for the perks she knows she will get to enjoy if she ties the knot with him. Now, I hope you get what I’m putting forth.

Love doesn’t pay the bills – it doesn’t pay for the milk formula, Pampers, baby powder, food and rent. Girls want more than love – security, financial security and in this materialistic age it has taken the first priority and it is practical too. This passing the buck that girls have a stone for a heart is the rant of kambi karat machas without proper jobs – get her a stone on a ring and she’ll be all over you. Stone na senggal illeh, Rosmah ring le iruke, anthe stone.. 😛

Seriously speaking, being insincere in love is gender blind. Saying that only girls love to cheat guys in love is akin to saying, “Segheppa irukaruvan poi solla maatan.” Poi sollurathukku karuppu enna, sivappu enna? Atheh maathiri kaadhal leh yemathe/dump panne aan yenna penn enna?

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