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Rosa

She has an opinion on every Malaysian Indian goings on. She can be called Karuthu Kannama. She writes on issues that matter in our Indian community and forwards fresh and sometimes revolutionary ideals.

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8 Comments

  1. 1
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    male

    ur stupid…and i can c that clearly! what u wan freedom? freedom in what way? u want to wear bikini and walk on street and know men disturb u? do u know what is freedom and modern thinking? look mother teresa she was modern women not by her dress sense but her modernise thinking..helping ppl with no racism!! she never cry for freedom to wear clothes,drink and clubing…if u cannot b mother teresa than don’t expect men to b ganthi!! this is kaliyuga and i must remind u not sakthi yuga..yes some are men are animal and cruel but dont just complain about it, try to change urself,or u just want ur freedom than face the consequences bcoz u choose to b so..gud luck!

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    1. 1.1
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      Aradhana

      LOL! See your thinking.. No sane woman will wear bikini and walk the streets. Women wear bikini at the beach or swimming pool.. In the west, women do it and they don’t get disturbed by anyone but the moment an Indian woman here wears the bikini at the beach, she will be subjected to salacious ridicule by other Indian men. The dress is not the problem, the mindset is, and you, MALE refuse to admit that your thinking is sordid. Lol, Mother Theresa is a modernized woman? She’s a nun. And, why are you, MALE, drawing a parallel between a nun, racism, service to the poor and women emancipation? Aiyo, enne stupid nu sollitu neenggeh stupid maari peseringgeh.. MT is a nun – she cannot marry, cannot own belongings and she dedicated her life for service to the poor. Okay, if all women become like Mother Theresa with all her apolistic attributes, will all men become like Pithamagan Bheeshma? Gandhi cannot be brought into this equation because he was open to carnal desires. What does Kaliyuga and Sakthi yuga has to do with this problem which sprouted from patriarchal establishments and misogyny foremost? What the eff are you saying male? It’s women’s fault that some men are cruel and women should not complain about it? You are the one which is all the wrong in our society. You cannot control your dick around women, scantily clad or otherwise but you cover your shortcoming by blaming women’s dressing sense. How convenient. I had random men approaching me, in public, asking me to come with them to have sex. I was 14 – 18 and I was dressed in my school uniform. Is our school uniform sexy and revealing? When I was schooling, I always cover my chest with books and sometimes hang my school bag in front if there are many boys around and they say, “Strategic ah cover pandrale.” Sure it’s my fault. My fault because I went to school and outside. I should have stayed inside the house, receive no education and be married off when I turn 16. Yes, my fault indeed. Yes, I faced the consequences because I dared to step out in school uniform. Why don’t you write a letter to our Education Ministry to have girls’ school uniform to be changed to burqa? Deal?

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    2. 1.2
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      Kesh

      Freedom is not mainly based on the way a women dresses .Yes,I agree that modernity can be sen on how a person perceive things based on reading , experience, research and some morality.Superb example you gave lah ‘ Mother Theresa’ it seems . What else do you know about Mother Theresa? Aradhana well said on this part. Btw, women are not asking any men to be like Mahatma Gandhi.No one is perfect even Gandhi had flaws.We just hope that the least a man could do is to behave themselves and to act like a rational human being by treating women with some respect.Not all girls walk around the streets wearing tight revealing clothes.Sadly, even a woman who wears burkah gets disturbed and raped.So are you gonna say that women should be blamed for being born as a woman?because even their existence can disturb a man so badly what.So in order to avoid rape and sexual harassment women should not go out?you are not providing any solutions by blaming women and asking women to change.Can men change their mindset too?because every time men see women they go berserk. Not every guy is the same I agree on that, we have a combination of the good and the bad but why can’t men just start behaving and treat women equally.I honestly understand and feel what the writer has presented here.If you can’t stop all the guys in the world from treating women badly then do the least you can by treating your future sons and daughters equally and perhaps the people around you as well for a start.It’s sad when guys encourage other guys to disturb a woman in the streets.It’s even more surprising when guys join and disturb girls together as a group .How do you feel when you see a stranger disturbing your mom and sister?angry right? then what are you going to just stand there silently or join them or most probably blame your mom and sister for it ?even when they are dressed so decently. Not necessary street lah even when ladies who go to kovil dressed so decently also they get disturbed by men. It’s really unfair for you to judge and say that women should change their mindset alone.Put yourself in another persons shoe.Take some lessons on empathy. I agree there are some girls who ask for it but why can’t guys make a difference? You can start by booing,giving other guy friends a cheap stare when they disturb random girls just for the thrill instead of joining them.Best part, don’t be surprised that once you start doing this as in by disturbing girls in the street or use any form of sexual harassment towards women , even some itchy girls won’t bother dressing so indecently cause they will realise that they ware not getting any attention and they will stop 😉 So be smart skit lah and let everyone live a peaceful life.Go and make a difference 🙂 the change may be slow but worth it. Aradhana keep writing (y) its a good read.

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    3. 1.3
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      Kesh Gerard

      Freedom is not mainly based on the way a women dresses .Yes,I agree that modernity can be sen on how a person perceive things based on reading , experience, research and some morality.Superb example you gave lah ‘ Mother Theresa’ it seems . What else do you know about Mother Theresa? Aradhana well said on this part. Btw, women are not asking any men to be like Mahatma Gandhi.No one is perfect even Gandhi had flaws.We just hope that the least a man could do is to behave themselves and to act like a rational human being by treating women with some respect.Not all girls walk around the streets wearing tight revealing clothes.Sadly, even a woman who wears burkah gets disturbed and raped.So are you gonna say that women should be blamed for being born as a woman?because even their existence can disturb a man so badly what.So in order to avoid rape and sexual harassment women should not go out?you are not providing any solutions by blaming women and asking women to change.Can men change their mindset too?because every time men see women they go berserk. Not every guy is the same I agree on that, we have a combination of the good and the bad but why can’t men just start behaving and treat women equally.I honestly understand and feel what the writer has presented here.If you can’t stop all the guys in the world from treating women badly then do the least you can by treating your future sons and daughters equally and perhaps the people around you as well for a start.It’s sad when guys encourage other guys to disturb a woman in the streets.It’s even more surprising when guys join and disturb girls together as a group .How do you feel when you see a stranger disturbing your mom and sister?angry right? then what are you going to just stand there silently or join them or most probably blame your mom and sister for it ?even when they are dressed so decently. Not necessary street lah even when ladies who go to kovil dressed so decently also they get disturbed by men. It’s really unfair for you to judge and say that women should change their mindset alone.Put yourself in another persons shoe.Take some lessons on empathy. I agree there are some girls who ask for it but why can’t guys make a difference? You can start by booing,giving other guy friends a cheap stare when they disturb random girls just for the thrill instead of joining them.Best part, don’t be surprised that once you start doing this as in by disturbing girls in the street or use any form of sexual harassment towards women , even some itchy girls won’t bother dressing so indecently cause they will realise that they ware not getting any attention and they will stop 😉 So be smart skit lah and let everyone live a peaceful life.Go and make a difference 🙂 the change may be slow but worth it. Aradhana keep writing (y) its a good read.

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      1. 1.3.1
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        Aradhana

        Kesh Gerard, thank you for getting my point as plainly as it is. 😉

        Reply
  2. 2
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    Raj

    I agree with the point “male” (anonymity ftw 🙂 ) wanted to deliver, but not the way he wanted to delivery.

    I normally have some nit-picks in your blog posts but I generally agree with the points in those articles but this article is typical 90s feminism manifest. First of all lets look at the some points in the article, you said that when a girl complains “Amma, anthe kadai kitte lepak pandre pasangga enne kacau pandrangge ma..” , then she will get scolded by her mother. Ok seriously, even if a guy say the same line to the mother, her reply still will be the same. The point the mothers want to make is to remind her children to stay away from danger and not point out that daughters are weak! If you think only girls get assaulted and guy can walk anywhere at anytime, I think you should read the newspapers more often! Douchebags and jerks are everywhere and they do cherry pick their victims, they pick anyone who they feel they can bully. That’s it. Yeah it is true sometimes girls targeted for rape but those incident are nothing to do men are being dick or female are being independent, those incident means a stupid person assaulted an innocent person, that’s it. That’s how all criminal things are done, it has nothing to do with men being disrespect to women. About moms saying “Avan ambele singgam”, apart from Tamil movies I never heard any moms are saying that.. Seriously even tamil movies stopped saying those stupid things after 90s…

    Traumas are common for all victims (rape, torture, theft, murder of their family member, injury, gang fight) , and the way that you are JUST defending female disgusts me. Your point about boys don’t wash plate and wash clothes are really mundane. It is century old argument, and please pay some visit to all those boys hostel! Yeah maybe you correct that we may not wash clothes or cook at home, because at home there people who are good at it to handle it (or we’re just lazy and it is not because we are sexist! ). Same way how we don’t do first aid when there is a doctor. Some girls love cooking and some boys love playing games and I don’t want to judge them sexist based on what they like do. We do treat women equally and if you are expecting respect then earn it, don’t cry for it.

    I also don’t buy the point about opening doors, paying for dinners. Those are act of being nice, or they can even be flirting, but who cares. So if you think we opening doors makes you weak, then lets talk about putting up make-up. Isn’t putting make-up also part of being insecure? Yeah we do nice things to attract opposite sex, if you want to blame that, blame evolution! You can just ignore those nice acts or say thanks as normal people but please don’t complain about it.

    If you want us to treat all girls like Nurul Izzah or Ambiga, then don’t cry for attention, let your action speak for yourself. Same way how you are not going to treat every guy as Gandhi or Anwar.. Society is not just going to respect you just because you are woman or man. Society respect you when you do something, so learn to earn respect!

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    1. 2.1
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      Aradhana

      90s feminist manifest? Unfounded allegation. Guys complain to their mothers when other girls kacau them? Seriously? And, the mother will only reprimand the son, not the girls who tormented him? You are delusional. No Indian guy would go to his mother wailing that a girl is disturbing him – that is equivalent of being an eunuch. FYI, the girl I mentioned is me. Those were my mom’s exact words. On the aambale singgam connotation, my mom uses it on her grandsons. Pombele maari nadakathe, aambele maari nimurnthu nade. I am not making up stories as I go along; most of what I write is via experience. Lol, movies may not quote, “Avan ambele singgam,” but scripts esque that are aplenty. 90s ah? I can give you a very recent one – last year, in the movie Raja Rani. In the customer care center, Jai would cry after Nayantara scolds him and Sathyan says, “Ambele na ale kudathu.” Aluve ambele yenna, pombele yenna? Alughai vantha ale vendithane. Why prohibit boys from crying when it’s a human attribute? It is because it pinpoints weakness which only natural to girls, not boys, according to our fundamental base. This is directly proportional to Indian patriarchal, masculine systems. On the same tenor, I put my foot down that Indian guys don’t run up to their moms to complain that they have been harassed. Dad, more likely and they solve it in a manly way.

      You are confusing crime with sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is categorized as crime in extreme cases – rape and chastity outrage. But, mild sexual harassment is pardoned. As a girl myself, I am speaking through my own experience. You can’t dismiss my points because it happens to me and my girl friends and sisters. Yes, cherry picking indeed, gang members murdering rivals but you seriously got confused here. You brought in another dimension (crime of different order) that digresses from the grain of this article simply because you cannot argue cogently ON THE TOPIC. So you become a red herring in order to make me muddled. Sorry to burst your bubble but I ain’t no bimbo.

      On trauma. Again you veered from the topic of discussion. This article is focused on imposed subjugation on females. Theft, murder, injury, gang fight all vere topic kawan – while you are at it, why don’t you add trauma from child abuse, accidents, animal attack, shell shock, post war trauma, etc, etc. So obvious that your counter is lame and astray.

      Yes, in hostel boys clean up their own mess because they have NO CHOICE. Once home, amma only will wash their clothes, starting from underwear. It is a matter of choice. Mostly household chores are considered inferior in our culture just like how women are perceived as inferior to men so only the inferior should do the inferior job is the mindset here. Yes, you don’t clean your mess up because you have amma, sisters and later, pondati that are females. Don’t bring profession in. Your analogy doesn’t add up and it actually helped me to rebut you. I believe you are trying to say that some boys like cooking and some girls like to play sports. Most chefs are male. And, very orthodox Indian families forbid girls from taking up sports because vigorous exertions and movements may rupture the freaking tissue in between our legs.

      I did not say that opening car doors make us weak. Don’t we, women, have hands? Can’t we open car doors ourselves? Having workable hands is the issue here – not gender. Flirting or being nice? Who cares and I assent with you. If you don’t open car doors for us, it is not like we are gonna wait until you do. Girls wear makeup to look attractive – not because they are insecure. Don’t you dress smartly when you go to relevant places? Does that mean you are insecure? See, I can rephrase. Lol, now you fell into your own trap 😛 “Yeah we do nice things to attract the opposite sex.” Bingo! Evolution design is solely focused on procreation and survival and males in the animal kingdom flaunt their vivid plumes/fur to court females. The male weaver bird builds the nest, in hope a female would approve and they can start a family. That is a nice thing to do to attract the opposite sex and decent guys do that and girls approve it. Letting out lewd remarks on girls’ body, whistling and following girls, and forwarding unwelcome, prurient touches are NOT NICE and that is what I addressed in this article. I don’t blame evolution – I blame lecherous males behaving waywardly.

      LOL, who’s complaining or crying here? Learn the difference between complaining and explaining and crying and articulating. I was explaining the status quo and articulating my points. See, we get unwanted attention. Since it is me you are trying to ‘set straight’, let me tell you, I do take action. I go to school, college and workplace and in all those places I have been sexually harassed. My action is being thwarted by the very units of society you mentioned. I don’t expect to be respected and treated like Ambiga or Nurul. All I’m saying is, that society, esp males should give women their space – don’t infringe our freedom. If women are to do something, the society should give us the freedom to do so. Ganging up and harassing girls is not gonna earn respect too Raj. Instead of harassing and earning spite, suspicion and discomfit, let us, guys and girls be good friends and have tacit respect mutually.

      Reply
  3. 3
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    Prathosh

    Hi Aradhana

    I have to first appreciate you for the efforts you have taken to write this article .

    I agree and disagree few things in the article .based on perceptions ,experiences and realities .

    However ,overall the article is eye opener and I respect you for that .

    Thanks .

    Prathosh

    Reply

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