Just ask any other Indian girls here whether they have been subject of teasing by fellow Indian boys and the answer is always a quiet, reluctant ‘Yes’.
Almost all girls here have been tormented sexually one way or other and most of them maintain silence, swallow the humiliation and harassment whole and pacify themselves that life is like that and there is nothing they can do to change things.
Subtle and overt sexual harassment for Indian girls here mostly kick off right after they hit puberty – in early teen years. As an Indian girl myself, I too underwent such unwanted attention from the opposite sex. Not only boys, routs too join in the party leaving me disgusted to the core. Such salacious uncles give me the creeps! I was incredibly timid in my initial teen days and I guess the fresh faced innocence was evident on my face, making me easy prey for dickheads who have no respect for women.
Wherever I went, to school, the public library, bus station, aboard the school and public buses, city center, even the neighbourhood I lived, Eve teasing was rife. It was extremely terrifying and I have doubted my safety many times.
Guys, ganging up with fellow dickheads, whistling, cat calling and passing lewd comments about the targeted girl or the girls’ physique is not the way to chat a girl up. You rather put her off by behaving like barbarians that have never seen girls before rather than impress her. The only impression you guys communicate is uncivilized and miles away from classy and decent what more appealing. Sutthe porikki thanam!
Sometimes, the girls are to blame as well. I won’t pass the buck entirely to guys because there are decent and cultured guys out there just as rowdy like girls walk among us.
I have seen some girls purposely being loud and ostentatious which rubs off as obnoxious; instead of keeping distance from bunches of salacious machas, they strive to be in the boys’ stereoscopic, predatory vision and most of them are secondary school goers still clad in uniforms. Beats me on why they do what they do. And then there are Meenachis having cat fights over boyfriends and other petty stuff, starting from school itself. They will even bring their parents to school to play judge and for moral support and create a huge, embarrassing ruckus, their high pitch voices threatening to burst random eardrums. This happened a lot in my all girls secondary school which is relatively unpopular and particularly not high achieving.
I have seen more than enough of these scenes and they never fail to make me want to go and slap all the boys and girls for behaving like lecherous apes and Tasmanian devils! Surely they can behave better.
I don’t understand the need for boys to behave like baboons of bluster (we have enough baboons in our government) in public places, harassing passing by girls and sometimes follow them. I have been followed many times and it scared the daylights out of me.
Yes, you guys have eyes and girls are definitely ‘cuci mata’ material. There is no wrong in looking/glancing at dainty and dazzling girls; beauty is to be admired after all but staring is not okay. Staring makes girls extremely uncomfortable. Making eye contact and smiling is cool but sometimes girls don’t smile back and it is Buta.com for guys.
One piece of advice for guys, if you like a girl, DO NOT whistle at her. She ain’t a dog to rush to you once you whistle. And, when your overzealous buddies say, “Dei macha, ava unne paakura da..” do not buy their statement; it is an overstatement. She might be looking at your direction, not at you. Instead of talking to your friends about her within her earshot, go and talk to her. If you don’t have the balls to talk to her, grow some balls, otherwise just shut the hell up.
And, for temples. Going to temple has become a recreational activity for our youngish ‘bhaktimaans’ Temples have become a ground for our boys and girls check each other out instead of checking God out and keeping tabs on their karma. Girls would round the temples in dizzying circles and boys would be hot on their heels. Besides fulfilling one’s religious obligation, hormone surge get fulfilled as well. Oru kallu le rendu maangga.
Another turn off is public display of affection. It is perhaps okay to link hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend and walk up and down shopping malls’ aisles or on pedestrian walk ways. I don’t bother em couples. None of my bloody business.
But, it becomes a business that affects me and others when public display of affection is staged in inappropriate places by our boys and girls.
I went to the Ipoh General Hospital once to have my blood tested and when I was purchasing lunch in the hospital’s cafeteria, a young Indian couple’s antics caught my eye.
The girl couldn’t be older than 16, the boy, 19 and there they were, holding hands and waists and shoulders while gazing at each other amorously, the guy, pinching the girl’s cheeks, nose and chin, oblivious to the people and hustle bustle around them. I did not know where to put my face when a makcik standing beside me pointed at the seemingly besotted twosome and lamented, “Apa kena diorang tu? Kat hospital pun ada hati nak berkepit.. Apa nak jadi la..” I wished I could bury my head in the ground like an ostrich at that moment. It is because of such rogue, brazen behaviour of other Indians which might have reached an incorrigible state that blackens the stature of other Indians here.
Another pet peeve of mine is the behaviorism of some of our Indian schoolgoers, particularly secondary school students. While we have high achievers like Naveena and Linggeas, we have mere kids not taking education seriously and take having a boyfriend or girlfriend as top priority, getting their prioritization downside up.
The order of the day is girls and boys having boyfriends and girlfriends and some start as early as 10. Say that you don’t have a partner in monkey love (that is the deserving name for fleeting love which would, at best, expire within a month) and you’ll get horrified countenances from your friends and you will be branded as an outcast. Succumbing to peer pressure and not wanting to stick out as a sore thumb, boys and girls couple up and get their lives screwed up in many cases.
Let me elaborate how generally hooking up is done in secondary schoolgoers based on my personal experience:
– First of all a boy would tell his friends of his love interest in a girl.
– Next, the boys’ friends would tell the girl’s friends that one of their friend is line putra-ning. (fixing a hooking up line) to the ‘fixed’ girl. See how excellent our boys and girls are at literature, coining words and phrases and being messengers, beating Cupid and Hermes. Yellam nalla seivangge, padikurethu thavare.
– Then, the girl’s friends would persuade her to accept the boy’s proposal and she would finally pander and the rest is history.
Driven by surging hormones, some will get sexually active without being in the know of the contained risks and repercussions.
When I was in Form 2, my friend, (she is of my age) told me that she had sex with her boyfriend and began to tell me the details and I told her to stop it, adding that I don’t want to know. I also gave her a piece of my mind that it is not cool to have pre-marital sex and then brag about it; it only devalues one. She belted up and saw me as an enemy from then onwards. So much for trying to steer her away from being sexually permissive at the age of fourteen. In retrospect, I should not have spoken to her in such a tone but I was FREAKING PISSED AND MORTIFIED, so there.
Youngsters, especially girls, should know how to tell the difference between love and lust. Don’t allow yourself to get laid down at anytime in your relationship with a guy. The utmost hallmark of a good guy by Indian standards is the one who can control his dick all the time, provided that he is not impotent.
And then, there is romantic flourish of cinta monyet which school boys or tertiary institute students easily get into to win the heart of the girl he has his eyes on or an already ‘corrected’ girl, that is, lavishing gifts on her birthday (if the relationship manages to last that long), Valentine’s Day and every other day. All in the name of LOVE…
I say, screw your love! From the jatti, you wear and the food you eat, you completely depend on your parents and guardians and what do you do? You spend the hard earned money of your parents’ on your puppy love that won’t see the dawn of next year. Those who take PTPN are basically jobless debtors so you have more pressing things to worry about than the anniversary of when you got hitched with your bitch and getting her a present.
Your parents send you to school and college to study, not to pair up and get screwed. You may call your parents old and boring but they got old and boring because they have toiled to bring you up. We are basically parasites for our parents and yet they love us above their own lives – an oxymoron in every sense of word. Have some gratitude to your parents. You owe them your life so don’t do anything that would deface your parents.
Life is not a Tamil movie. Our boys and girls especially teenagers buy Tamil movies propaganda on love wholesale and it is at this point sanity and sound judgement hit rock bottom. Can you and your so called lover sing duets, changing dozens of locations and costumes in 5 minutes? That is how unrealistic it gets in Tamil movies so stop letting the plots of romantic Tamil movies from getting into your heads. I’m not saying that boycotting Tamil movies is the way to go; there are excellent Tamil movies like Anbe Sivam, Vettaiyadu Vilayadu, Kalloori to name a few. All I’m saying is for youngsters just like me to apply some common sense and rule out cinematic liberties as crap when watching such movies.
Excel in your studies, get a good job, set a good, stable financial status, equip yourself with stuff necessary for a comfortable life, be a filial child to your parents then search for the Romeo or Juliet of your life and settle down. Vaazhkai nalla irukkum..
Note: Any person depicted in the picture is not related with the post and it is merely for illustration purpose only.