Okay, this is for adults only. Kids, concentrate on your studies.
Marriage, a union of two people in love or in love due to arrangement. In Indian Hindu culture, a married woman’s status is of the status of goddess Mahalakshmi. For many Indian men, marriage is the licence to have sex since premarital sex is frowned upon by our society. Still, some get married not because they want to but it’s because that is what is expected by parents, siblings, relatives, onnu veetu sitthappu, rendu veetu maami, kalyana broker, matrimonial sites and ultimately, society.
Marriage and Indians.
For Indians, marriage is not the union of two individuals, it is the union of two families. Nowhere it’s more evident than in wedding pictures.
There are so much things to fuss about in days leading up to an Indian wedding. And, many Indians end up investing in wedding rather than marriage. This is driven by the force of vetti bandha (empty show off) and jealousy. If a relative’s wedding is grand, then it is a self imposed task to hold a grander wedding. Recently, my sitappa’s son got married. RM 100,000 was spent for the event. INSANE. I TELL YOU.
While Indians need to be more prudent when it comes to weddings cost, marriage is something everyone should do. Reason why we should get married – grandma, parents, father, mother, relatives, friends and the elders and the society’s ideal idea of life aside, as a social animal, companionship is vital. When you marry, you’ll get a handle bar to lift yourself. Money can buy many houses but not a home. You work like a horse, and if you come home to a wall, life would have little meaning. But, when you’re married, you know that a person shares close bond with you and this engenders a joy, a thrill and responsibility. Mostly you can shut the mouths of people asking you, “Eppo kalyanam”” (When is your marriage?) That’s a kaduppufying (irritation evoking) question.
Some people can fall into depression if they don’t get a suitable candidate to marry.Many times parents get depressed if their grown up kids don’t get married because they don’t get grandchildren. Often, this is why most Indians marry, so that their parents can see their grandkids. And, you know, it’s both scary and surreal as the kids arrive, looking like you and having your habits that are extended by sanguine and your whole genetic bloodlines.
And, with Taliban moral policing pages posting quotes like, “A girl needs a boy with a good future and a boy needs a girl with a good past,” and “15 years ago, parents looked for good boys for their daughters, now, parents are looking for good girls for their sons,” Indians think that Indian girls are just too f**cked up for any guy to marry. Nalla vaileh varum, solliten (I am getting profane words, I’m warning you) I don’t see Indians not marrying despite this negative label stuck on Indian girls. So, what’s the point in shaming Indian girls when they are the very ones you marry? Yean inthe vetti vele? (Why this useless job) Social service ah? Like the ones aunties and uncles do, matchmaking every single girl and guy they see?
Looking for the right man/woman to marry can be daunting. But life is all about taking chances. Marriage is especially necessary if you want kids, I mean your kids. Our society doesn’t condone pregnancy out of wedlock and neither sex before marriage. It’s not like premarital sex doesn’t happen in our community but most of us prefer to be ostriches burying their heads in the sand in the convenient belief that “If I don’t see it, it’s not happening.” And, then, solely blaming girls for being sexually thawed.
It’s highly advisable for you and your would be do a medical checkup before stepping into the threshold of marriage. Most Indians have tidak apa attitude and overlook this critical step. Most would bring up trust issues. Keep it plain and simple, if you don’t have anything to hide and anything guilty of doing, you have nothing to fear.
Some truths about Indian marriage
Arranged marriage nowadays is for people with less options or those parents forbade them from falling in love when in school, university and by the time these lots enter the workforce, they are almost ‘forever alone’ if their parents don’t interfere.
Love marriage has become the order of the day. Some parents frankly tell their adult children to find their pair on their own. This has given some westernized ideal acceptance but premarital sex remains being looked upon in a disapproving view. But, nowadays, love almost always equates to sex.
Now, let’s get an insight on Hindu holy marriage, primarily, the tying of the thali (if I write on nalunggu, etc, this would be a long piece.) The tying of thali only came into practice after the story of Satyavan Savithri. Before that, the tying of thali ritual was nonexistent in Hindu marriages, even in Ramayana and Mahabaratham. All the couples do is exchange garlands. When Savithri learnt that her husband’s life is about to be taken away by Lord Yama, she tied a yellow, turmeric infused string around her neck. It served as a protection of her husband’s life. That is how thali got that significance. But to follow the true tradition, the bride should tie the thali herself, not the husband. Also, a string infused with yellow turmeric is enough to serve the purpose but thali had been fancified.
Get married. Life would be a beautiful journey.