DISCLAIMER: This is a satire. Real life ku sammantham illeh. The purpose of this satire is to pinpoint how ridiculous Tamil movie hero idolizing is.
Summar Moonji Kumar aka SMK is a diehard Vijay fan. He never misses to watch his Illayathalapathy’s movies on big screen, first day, first show. If he did not get to watch Vijay’s movies on such a basis, oppari veppaple. He screams, “Thalaiva, thalaiva, Illayathalapathy,” at Vijay’s mass movie intro in theaters until his voice gets hoarse. If anyone speaks lesser of Vijay, our Summar Moonji Kumaru would explode like the rumbling Mt Vesuvius, spewing pyroclastic flow in the direction of the person, be it in real life or Facebook.
Touched by Summar Moonji Kumar’s dedication to him, Vijay gave SMK his autograph and told him that whenever SMK needs help, all he has to do is summon Vijay and he will respond to SMK’s distress call.
Our Summar Moonji Kumar got bitten by the love bug – he was smitten by a girl named Kumutha in his Form 3 class. But, the girl would not give any positive response to SMK and lo and behold! Vijay appears and assumes his role in the movie Shah Jahan. He successfully connects the girl with Summar Moonji Kumar. Summar Moonji Kumar happy. Kumutha happy.
Our Summar Moonji Kumar got caught up with Kumutha and being Vijay’s numero uno defender and had no time to study. He flunked SPM. Vijay came to the rescue – he went straight to Muhiyiddin and used his clout as a mass actor to make SMK’s SPM result from FAIL to PASS.
Our Summar Moonji Kumar couldn’t find a decent job because his only qualification is SPM cukup-cukup makan. Enrolling in vocational colleges was too low standard for our SMK – after all Vijay never acted as a vocational college student, so how can our Summar Moonji Kumar become so?
Soon, Summar Moonji Kumar found a cause when a powerful politician, Samsa Veloo wants to draw out all the residents of the estate where Summar Moonji Kumar lives to build a chinna veedu. Like in the movie Sura, SMK bests the evil politician and preserves the estate for his people. The people now hail our Summar Moonji Kumar as their hero. SMK says to them, “Yellam Pughalukkum oruvan oruvanneke, anthe oruvan Illayathalapathy Vijay than.”
Step by step, our Summar Moonji Kumar rose to fame, all thanks to succor and blessings from his idol, Vijay.
Summar Moonji Kumar has an anbule thanggachi and he is searching for a mapley for her. Since life in estate is difficult, it is Summar Moonji Kumar’s dream to marry his sister off to a mapley from the city. And, SMK realizes his dream.
So, our Summar Moonji Kumar’s sister settles in KL. Summar Moonji Kumar comes to the realism of thug activity in Kuala Lumpur and gang members of 04, 08, 24 etc which disrupt the law and order of Kuala Lumpur and the peace of KLites. PDRM fails to curb this situation and SMK decided to take matters into his own hands. Citing, “Kuala Lumpur nambe Malaysia odeh thalai nagaram. Tharthalai nagarama irukeh!!” Summar Moonji Kumar, inspired by Vijay’s movie Thirupachi, wipes out all the baddies, single handed, restoring peace and law and order of Kuala Lumpur. He did it for his sister but suyanalam has become pothunalam. But, a small twist – unlike Vijay in the movie who operates incognito, santanam, vibuthi and kungguma pottu being the equivalent of The Mask, our Summar Moonji Kumar is all out with his identity.
Now, our Summar Moonji Kumar’s fame has spread throughout Malaysia. His fame has outplayed Karpal Singh, Madam Ambiga, Anwar and even Najib! Mahathir becomes a die hard fan of Summar Moonji Kumar and tells to press,” Saya nak cadangkan apa nama, Summar Moonji Kumar jadi Perdana Menteri kerana saya tengok dia ada potensi.”
The future of Summar Moonji Kumar under the purvey of Vijay
Summar Moonji Kumar joins politics. His political party name is, ‘Illayathalapathy eh Nambinor, Kai Vida Padar’ , acronym, INKVP. In Malaysia’s 14th GE, INKVP wins 2/3rd majority, leaving PR and BN in the dust. Summar Moonji Kumar becomes Malaysia’s 7th Prime Minister.
In gratefulness for Vijay who had mentored our Summar Moonji Kumar, he hangs a life size photo of Vijay in his mansion. Summar Moonji’s ultimate Vision 2020 plan is to build a temple in Malaysia dedicated to Vijay. The highlight would be a gold statue of Vijay, surpassing the height of Batu Caves Lord Murugan. 🙂