We always tell guys to control their lust to solve a lot of social problems, but very few ever told guys exactly how to control it. There is no point in saying “It’s okay to have lust as it’s an inherent quality in men who evolved from the animal kingdom” without clearly stating the exact methods for a man to be able to manage it for marital procreation purposes only. No point in telling people that “I am against rape” but entertaining sexual & pornographic thoughts in the mind at the same time.
Men Shouldn’t Let Women Determine Their Character & Men Shouldn’t Determine Women’s character
It does not make sense to ask women to dress in a way that will not agitate our mind; rather men must learn how to control their own minds so that they don’t get agitated by any dresses, any woman or any situation. True character is in the establishment of celibacy in the mind, not in the mere external adherence to laws and cultural codes. Not cat-calling any woman, not sexually abusing any woman alone does not make you a man of character; not watching pornography at all, not thinking sexually about any woman at all and not being addicted to sexual habits make you a man of character.
Women are perfectly capable of establishing their own set of personal life principles, dress codes & moral codes. It is not logical to make all the women in the world to wear what you want them to wear just so that you can call yourself a perfect mental celibate. Women scream “Feminism!” in the streets & social media, but women made “50 Shades of Grey” a bestseller. Women want men to stop viewing them based on their physical appearances, but women spend lots of money on jewellery, make-up, accessories etc. Women hate when men talk about a woman’s physique online, but women comment on pictures of handsome, muscular men saying things like “I’m drooling” etc. Women hate it when men try to make sexual advances on them but women claim that they should not be judged if they have casual sex. If actresses are portrayed sexily in movies it is women-objectification but no feminists ever say anything about movies that show the muscles of Suriya and Vikram, although feminists say they want gender equality. Women recall the ancient Indian women who dress in a much more revealing way but somehow women forget that in those days, all young Indian boys live in their guru’s hermitages under strict supervision and no temptations whatsoever until they become mature men.
But, hey, back to my point, these contradictions within the women community do not give men the right to be their moral police. Women will figure out a way to come to a parallel consensus within themselves with respect to all those aspects. Men should not wait for the day such a consensus is made within the women community in order to be established in their own character. Be established in your own character now, today itself.
Debunking Some Ineffective Advices
Ineffective Advice Version #1: Regard all women as your fellow human beings. Of course men regard you as human beings; that’s why they want to have sex with you. If you were a donkey in their eyes, they wouldn’t even think of sex with you.
Ineffective Advice Version #2: You can look at women but don’t stare at them. You can see us but not in a lustful way. You can be close to us no matter how sexily we dress as long as you behave yourself. Don’t rape us but we don’t care about what you imagine about us in your mind when you masturbate. Dear women, you’re probably directly or implicitly giving advices like these because you have no idea how exactly lust works in a male mind.
Dear women, please imagine your most favorite dish in the world that makes your mouth water the moment you hear its name. Just for two months, don’t ever eat it. But you must smell the freshly prepared dish at least twenty times a day; but don’t eat it. You must see the dish or the pictures of that dish everywhere around you; make the dish as the home screen of your phone, wallpaper of your laptop but don’t eat it. Don’t even say that you want to eat it or that it’s tasty; that’s ‘vulgar’. Try to go the shop that sells your favorite dish, smell the aroma of that dish, look at all the varieties of the same dish, but don’t order it. Every day imagine about your dish, its delicious taste, the sensation you get once it touches your tongue, the fulfilment you get after you eat it; but don’t eat it for just 2 months. If you can successfully complete this challenge, then you can give all the advices above to guys. The magnitude of temptation of lust in men is millions of times more than a mere temptation of a dish. If you can’t give the right kind of advices to men, then continue to read.
What Guys Need to Do to Effectively Stop Pornography, Masturbation and Consequently, Sex Crimes
Controlling your sexual urges is often misunderstood as suppressing your sexual urges. If you become very strict with yourself and if you punish yourself each time a sexual thought arises, all your suppressed sexual urges will one day burst out as a very violent sexual act full of lust and anger. Instead, try to follow all of the techniques below:
Technique #1 [Non-cooperation]
To control your sexual urges is to ignore them; do not try to fight with the sexual ideas and at the same time, do not succumb to the sexual ideas whenever they arise in your mind. Mahatma Gandhi called this the ‘non-cooperation’ technique, no fighting and yet no succumbing at the same time. With enough practice of consciously ignoring your sexual urges, their tendency to arise in your mind will be reduced dramatically in six months. The next time a sexual thought arises in your mind, just stop whatever you’re doing, take a slow deep breath, observe that sexual thought in your mind, mentally say “Hi, long time no see.” to that thought. Don’t fight that thought but don’t follow what it says. Don’t rush to execute any thoughts, observe it first and give your intellect some time to interfere.
Technique #2 [Creativity]
The sexual energy is the most creative energy in the male body; it’s the energy which is capable of creating another piece of life. Imagination is the key that can trigger this energy. So, instead of wasting this precious energy in imagining about women and sex, engage your sexual energy through your imagination in many other things in the world that require creativity and creative imagination. Solve tough math and physics problems, study poetry / write your own, take up creative arts like drawing, painting, singing, dancing or acting, practice the different branches of yoga, exercise, build your body, take up martial arts, learn a new language, or if you’re more spiritually inclined, then practice meditation & yogic breathing techniques.
Technique #3 [Scientific]
Every time a sexual thought arises in your mind, consciously bring some scientific thoughts. Biologically, the body is full of blood, fat, puss, urine, stool and flesh. The skin you’re seeing is just hiding all these; don’t get cheated by the skin. Quantum physics shows that our bodies are nothing but a collection of meaningless particle-like waves creating an illusion that the body is solid existence. Matter is just energy covering itself with illusion. These are the scientific methods to look at women as more than their bodies; that it is not their bodies that make them beautiful but it is the content of their heart and character which does.
Technique #4 [Knowledge]
Read up more on the scientific benefits of semen preservation. The semen contains a lot of minerals and nutrients which are also required by the brain. If you are addicted to porn and masturbation, all these relevant nutrients will be used to replace your semen stock instead of to be sent up to your brain. That’s why if you watch porn and masturbate a lot, one day you’ll become stupid enough to commit rape. There’s a book called “Brain Gain: The Wisdom of Celibacy and Chastity” which is a must read for all young men as it contains extensive research evidences on semen preservation. The contents of this book should be used by teachers and parents as part of sex education for boys.
Technique #5 [Physical]
Training yourself to get up every day at least about one & the half hour before sunrise will prevent you from having that very disturbing morning erections. Many guys think that morning erections are natural, but my dear brothers, that is only true if you get up late. Studying and doing creative work is the most effective in early mornings, I am sure you need no evidence for that. Take cold showers, especially when you have a strong sexual urge. A cold shower will suddenly redirect your physical sexual energy and you will feel relieved from that urge.
Most Important Technique #6 [Trigger Prevention]
Identify what are the triggers that will make sexual thoughts arise in your mind and then try your best to avoid all those triggers. If one of your triggers is the sight of women in sexy dresses, then the way to go about it is not by telling them what to dress, but by limiting your interactions with them as much as possible; if at all you have to look at them, look at the space between their eyes and nowhere else. Of course, this isn’t very easy unless you develop a strong ability of focus and concentration through technique #2. Don’t be a world-class fool to try to test your celibacy level by intentionally being close to all your triggers.
Technique #7 [Inspiration]
Constantly remember the list of great men who have made tremendous contributions to the world by observing strict mental celibacy: Socrates, Pythagoras, Plato, Sir Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Leonardo da Vinci, Ludwig van Beethoven, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Sir J.M. Barrie, Paul A.M. Dirac, Michelangelo, Sigmund Freud, Steve Jobs, Mahatma Gandhi, Kamaraj, Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam and many more. If you’re into spirituality, I’m sure you know this article won’t be enough to list all of the great spiritual celibates. Being a perfect mental celibate is one of the surest ways to be a genius in any field from science and arts to spirituality. Read the inspiring stories of these men every time you feel like giving up the practices of all the above techniques.
I Am Not Saying That You Have To Be A Monk; I Am Saying That You Should Be A Man Of Character Instead Of An Animal
Many animals breed only for procreation purposes & only during specific period of time in a year. But we have human beings, who claim to be on the top of the evolutionary stage, but want to have sex every day all year long. It’s an insult to the human evolution if you can’t control your sexual desires more than animals can. It’s perfectly good to have sex for procreation purposes, but it’s not to think and imagine about it every other time.
What Fathers and Women Can Do to Actually Stop Rape
PARENTS should make sure all the laptops, computers and smartphones have parental control softwares (or adult-content filters) installed before letting your sons using them if you cannot supervise them. Your sons are smart; so, in the software, don’t use passwords that they can easily guess. It is the duty of fathers to teach all the above techniques to their sons and talk to them openly in this regard. Parents, please remember that there is no point in telling random boys to stop sexual abuses so that your daughters can live in safe world, if there is a boy in your own house who watches pornography.
WOMEN, if you really want men to stop staring you lustfully, then put on the sexiest dress that you have in front of your own adolescent sons and adolescent brothers when you’re at home. Putting it on in front of random men won’t do anything other than giving them imagination for their masturbation; putting it on before the teenage boys at home will train them to look at any women with respect regardless of the dress they wear. This is why the tribal men are not at all troubled to look at the naked tribal women, because that’s how they have seeing their own mothers and sisters since childhood. Women who are serious about stopping rape, please talk to your husbands and execute this at home. By all means, wear whatever you want outside the house, but inside the house, wear your sexiest dress before your adolescent sons and brothers.